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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29898627">i will love you without any strings attached</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/innertimetraveldetective/pseuds/innertimetraveldetective'>innertimetraveldetective</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Torture, Crying, Hair Braiding, Hair Washing, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jemma Simmons is the Queen of Star Analogies, Medical Procedures, Multi, Nightmares, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Self-Harm, Torture, Trauma, Waterboarding, like a lotta crying</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:20:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,496</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29898627</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/innertimetraveldetective/pseuds/innertimetraveldetective</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Daisy is tortured by Whitehall.  Her girlfriends look after her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bobbi Morse/Jemma Simmons/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Melinda May &amp; Bobbi Morse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i will love you without any strings attached</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/bexgempisces/gifts">bexgempisces</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>happy birthday bex!!!</p><p> here, have a shit ton of PAIN.  ur welcome :D</p><p>CWs for a (rather graphic) description of self harm, violence, suicidal ideation.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Agent Johnson.” A mocking voice sung, harsh breath on her neck.  “Come on, darling.” The voice said.  Daisy shook her head,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” She muttered, her eyes flickering open, “Please, no.” She choked, gripping the arm rests of the chair she’d been in for far too long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tired?”  He asked as she whimpered, feeling his hand on her shoulder.  She flinched away, letting out a sob. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was still here.  Still with </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, away from Bobbi and Jemma, May and Coulson, away from her </span>
  <em>
    <span>home</span>
  </em>
  <span>, from the people who made it so.  Stuck in a nightmare, a never ending loop of hazy thoughts and half formed pain.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trapped with </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, in his clutches, hands all over her, eyes on her at all times, a teasing voice running through her head, the smell of his breath nauseating.  She just wanted it to stop, for her body to finally give out, to be able to rest.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He said if she talked it would stop.  That if she just gave up the intel, just the slip of a tongue and he’d stop, he’d let her sleep, leave her be, stop with his harsh hands and smooth words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>God</span>
  </em>
  <span>, did she want to.  The temptation to give up was alluring, enticing, the peace that she’d find in death, the quiet, the solitude.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But no, because Bobbi was coming for her.  They’d find her, of course they would.  So she had to be strong.  For them.  Even if she couldn’t be for herself.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She spat at him.  He laughed,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid you’re going to have to do a bit better than that, sweetheart.”  He chuckled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Call me sweetheart again and you’ll see exactly what I can do.”  She seethed.  He tutted,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come, Daisy, you should know by now how I feel about empty threats.”  He whispered, his tone friendly, or a poor imitation of friendliness.  The underlying threat was obvious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I dunno, Danny boy, when SHIELD gets here you’ll see about how empty it is.”  He laughed,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, since you brought it up,” He struck her hard in the cheek, reopening the split in her lip, “The base coordinates, please.”  He hissed.  Tears sprung to Daisy’s eyes as he hit her, she wished she could brush them away.  He didn’t deserve to see her weakness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Never.”  She spat blood onto the ground.  He chuckled,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, we’ll see about that.”  He tied her hands behind her back, and then her ankles together, dragging her up from her chair by her hair.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Getting creative, are we?”  Daisy muttered to herself as he held her face over a sink, grimy water awaiting her, a harsh hand on her lower back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Desperate times desperate measures.”  He hummed as he forced her head under water, winding her with a sharp punch to the ribs.  Daisy thrashed under water, desperate for air, her lungs about ready to burst.  He dragged her up by her hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gonna have to do b-”  He forced her back under water,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Compliance will be rewarded.”  He chimed as she struggled, holding her head under water.   If it weren’t for whatever the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> they’d given her she’d have quaked herself free.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately her party trick seemed to be failing her.   And oh, so were her lungs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ready to talk?” He asked brightly as he brought her up again, her head soaked, gasping for breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Never.”  She breathed, raising an eyebrow as a guard burst in,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sir, we have intruders.” He said.  Whitehall nodded stiffly,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hold them off until I can deal with her.”  He ordered, forcing Daisy back under and punching her in the gut again, and again, and again, Daisy’s screams muffled by the water entering her lungs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s when she gave up hope.  As her eyes flickered shut, as her body went limp, as she gave in to the burning in her chest.  She apologised to herself, to Bobbi, to Jemma, and she hoped for peace in death.  Did she not deserve that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She asked that they be safe, for May to take care of them, for Coulson to be okay, and she gave up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Poetic, wasn’t it, for them to be her last hope and her last wish.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And her last failure. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ladies,”  Whitehall turned around as the door was kicked down.  Unfortunately for him, the bullet seemed to enter his cranium before he could say anything else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daisy?”  Bobbi yelled, pulling her out of the sink, laying her flat on the ground. She searched desperately for a pulse, for a sign of life, for a flicker of the woman she loved.  She didn’t find one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn it, Daisy.”  Bobbi muttered as she placed her hands over her chest, ignoring May as she seemed to take down 4 men in the space of 5 seconds, “Come on, rockstar, I’m not losing you.”  Bobbi muttered as she pressed down on her chest, Daisy’s head lolling to the side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>1… 2… 3…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And they were meeting for the first time, back when Daisy was Skye, back when Bobbi was brunette, back when Jemma was finding them again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>4… 5… 6… </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Skye became something unknown, Bobbi became a traitor, Jemma became scared, cruel, everything that she wasn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>7… 8… 9…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Skye was Daisy, Bobbi was injured, Jemma was MIA.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>10… 11… 12…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Bobbi’s lips were crashing into Daisy’s, tears were spilling over lost love, laughs were ringing as they found it anew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>13… 14… 15…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Jemma was </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she was in Daisy’s arms, and she was okay.  She was with them.  Back where she belonged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>16… 17… 18…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And clothes were littered across the floor, limbs were intertwined, the lights were low.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>19… 20… 21…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And their moments were stolen, secret, almost nonexistent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>22… 23… 24…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Daisy became Quake, Jemma became alone again, as Bobbi held a broken woman.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>25… 26… 27…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Bobbi dragged her back.  Both of them half dead, but back with Jemma.  Back home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>28… 29… 30…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Daisy wasn’t breathing as Bobbi sobbed over her body, Jemma waiting back home as Bobbi tried to bring her back, desperately tried to keep her love clinging to life.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bobbi tilted her chin back, pinching her nose, breathing into her mouth twice.  She waited.   Nothing happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, you stubborn idiot.”  She yelled as she started pressing down on her chest again, “Not today, Daisy, not yet.”  She begged, ignoring the way her chest was tearing itself apart, ignoring the nausea, the terror, the shaking hands.  She couldn’t lose her.  Not now, not ever.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>May stood numbly watching Bobbi weep over the woman who may as well have been her daughter; Daisy Johnson, Skye when she’d found her, just a scared hacker living in a van.  This wasn’t how their journey ended, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> be.  She was too young, there was too much May hadn’t had a chance to say, had a chance to show her, to tell her.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daisy Johnson was many things, a quitter wasn’t one of them.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>May knelt next to Bobbi as she started her third round of chest compressions, setting a hand on her shoulder.  Bobbi shook it off,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,”  She shook her head, “No, don’t do that.  She’s not gone.  She can’t- she can’t be gone, May, don’t do that.”  Bobbi sobbed, still counting steadily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bobbi.”  May nudged her, “Bobbi, stop.”  Bobbi shook her head,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, please-”  Her face crumpled as May pulled her close, Bobbi collapsing against her. “She can’t be gone.”  She whispered, “She can’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No one’s ever gone.  Not really.”  May muttered.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t lose her.”  Bobbi repeated, “I-”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daisy choked, spitting up half a lung of water.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” She spluttered, “I’m-”  She coughed, trying to sit up as she spat up more, Bobbi helping her quickly, rubbing her back as she puked up water and bile, tears quickly building.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay, rockstar.” Bobbi muttered as May held her hair back, Daisy collapsing into Bobbi as soon as she finished, crying into her chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”  She sobbed, “I’m so, so sorry.”   Bobbi exchanged a worried glance with May, but didn’t say anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get you home, Agent Johnson.”  Bobbi just smiled, picking her up easily, Daisy wrapping her arms around her neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jemma?” She asked quietly.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s waiting for us.”  Bobbi promised, “You’re safe.”  Daisy nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m with you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m telling you, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”  Daisy insisted as she was forced into a wheelchair the second they got back to base.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like hell you are.”  Jemma scoffed as she met them, “You’ve been missing for <em>weeks</em></span>
  <span>, Daisy, you’re not getting out of this.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I looked her over on the plane, broken ribs, black eye, missing tooth, her arms are fractured again, I’m not sure about internal damage.”  Bobbi recited as she followed Jemma towards the medbay, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’ll need scans for that.”  Jemma decided.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>She’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> fine.”  Daisy protested.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hush.”  They said simultaneously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate medical.”  She whined.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, well, I’d hate having a dead girlfriend, thank you.”  Jemma said dryly, stopping a medtech, Daisy looking up to Bobbi as Jemma blurted out some medical mumbo-jumbo,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna be okay, dorogaya.” Bobbi whispered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It hurts.”  Daisy admitted.  Bobbi nodded, crouching down next to her,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, okay?  So, so sorry, for all of this, but you can be strong for us, yeah?”  Bobbi cupped her cheek and Daisy nodded, a tear escaping,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>H-he</span>
  </em>
  <span> hurt me.”  She whispered, her voice shaking.  Bobbi stroked her cheek, wiping a tear away,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, rockstar.  I know.”   Bobbi kissed her forehead, letting the medtech wheel her away, Daisy still crying.  Bobbi took Jemma’s hand,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take care of our girl, yeah?”  She asked.  Jemma nodded,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Always.”  She said confidently, resting her head against Bobbi’s shoulder.  “Are you okay?”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We got her back.”  Bobbi settled for.  Because she wasn’t okay.  She saw Daisy </span>
  <em>
    <span>die</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she saw her dead on the floor, looking </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> small, impossibly young, seemingly beyond reach.  She couldn’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay</span>
  </em>
  <span> after that.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We did.”  Jemma smiled, “We got her back.”  She echoed, kissing Bobbi softly, leaning into her hand as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “Now I need to look after her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll do great, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Doctor Simmons</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”  Bobbi grinned, kissing her once more before letting her go, watching them both disappear into the medbay.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>May materialised at her side.  She took her hand.  Bobbi smiled to herself, squeezing it softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’ll be okay.”  Bobbi said more to herself than May.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She always is.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jemma?” She rasped, her mouth dry.  Jemma jerked awake, sitting up at lightning speed.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daisy!”  She beamed, “Are you thirsty?  Do you need anything?  Blankets, pillows, food?”  She offered.  Daisy smiled tiredly, closing her eyes.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C’mere.”  She just asked, her chest far too heavy to say much more.  Jemma obliged, of course, perching delicately next to her, smiling as Daisy settled with her head in her lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you don’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shush.  Headache.”  Daisy decided, “Cuddles.” She demanded.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Drink something first.”  Jemma asked.  Daisy groaned, but Jemma was insistent, holding the bottle for her as she sipped through a straw.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hate my stupid arms.”  Daisy grumbled as she looked at her splints. “And my stupid ribs.  And my stupid brain.”  Jemma tutted,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to keep you under observation for 12 more hours, then we’ll make you more comfortable.”  She said as she settled under the flimsy duvet cover, Daisy quickly snuggling up to her, slinging an arm around her waist.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Bobbi?”  She asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Debrief, I assume.  They didn’t start until you were out of surgery.”  Daisy choked,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Until I was out of </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”  Jemma frowned,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We had to do surgery to fix the internal damage to your gut and lungs.  What did you think you were waking up from?”  Daisy scoffed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> bad fever dream.” She muttered, burying her head in Jemma’s shirt.  “Like </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> bad.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk about it?” Jemma asked softly.  Daisy just shook her head, closing her eyes before the tears came, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanting</span>
  </em>
  <span> to remember.  She didn’t want to feel every punch, every cut, every kick over and over, she didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> the memory of hands all over her, she didn’t want any of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wanted to sleep peacefully cuddled up with her girlfriends, far away from here, from her pain, or torture, from the echo of his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not yet.”  She whispered.  “I’m not ready to remember yet.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Daisy didn’t want to remember.  Everytime it came crashing back she held it off.  She smiled, she laughed, she held off her storm, held back the waves; her mind screamed at her and she screamed back ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>’.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it was working.  She </span>
  <em>
    <span>swore</span>
  </em>
  <span> it was working.  For days, it was business as usual, it was doting girlfriends and care packages, cups of tea with May and video games with Fitz and Mack.  It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>normal</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and she was good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until she wasn’t.  Until the storm finally collapsed around her, until the world seemed to break in half, chaos reigning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She woke up alone, the room shaking around her, her mind taken over with her own screams, trapped in her own fear, in that room, its damp smell, rope against her wrists.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She choked out a sob, stumbling to the bathroom in her numb panic, needing to get </span>
  <em>
    <span>out</span>
  </em>
  <span>, </span>
  <em>
    <span>away</span>
  </em>
  <span>, screaming as her quakes shattered the bathroom mirror.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She backed into the wall, shaking from head to toe, nothing making </span>
  <em>
    <span>sense</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was too bright, too harsh, too saturated.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew what to do, she always knew what to do.  She knew how to make it stop.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reaching blindly for a razor, her hand shook as she held it against her skin, letting it slide across her forearm.  She sighed, watching, slightly mesmerised as crimson leaked out, holding her breath as she made another, closing her eyes as she felt it, the familiar sting, the adrenaline that followed, the guilty sickness that spread through her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She ignored it, making another, and another, and another, as long as she didn’t have to remember.  As long as she could escape herself, him, everything.   As long as she didn’t have to be her, as long as she could stay here, content and bleeding on the floor, safe from whatever had happened.  Safe from having to remember.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Dais, we got you br-”  Bobbi cut herself off as she walked in, expecting to find Daisy in bed, pausing as the familiar iron smell hit her.  “Shit.”  She muttered, putting their food on the side and gesturing for Jema to follow her.  The bathroom door was locked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daisy, love?”  Jemma called softly, carefully not to spook her, “Open the door for us, yeah?”  She asked.  No response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dee you have til 5 then I’m knocking the door down.” Bobbi warned. Still nothing.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“1,” No response,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“2,” No response,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“3,” No response,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“4,” Bobbi looked at Jemma fearfully.  Who knew what could be waiting for them on the other side of the door,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“5.”  She sighed as nothing happened.  “Daisy, listen to me, I need you to get out of the way, get back, do you hear me?”  She didn’t say anything, so Bobbi groaned, gesturing for Jemma to get back, before </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally</span>
  </em>
  <span> kicking the door open, both of them rushing in to find Daisy slumped against the bath in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> scary pool of blood, a lazy smile painted on her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jemma crouched in front of her, “Daisy, can you hear me?”  She asked, gesturing to Bobbi to pass her something to stop the bleeding with.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daisy just laughed.  A cold, dry, laugh - haunting, even.  “I remember.”  She mumbled.  “Why do I remember?”  She asked Bobbi, letting Jemma touch her, feeling utterly powerless to do anything else.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s what he’d done, wasn’t it?  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna run a bath.”  Bobbi decided quietly, keeping half an eye on Daisy as Jemma worked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damn, was that a lot of blood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that okay?”  Jemma asked her as she started to clean her cuts.  Daisy didn’t say anything, didn’t flinch, or protest, didn’t whine like she usually did when someone tried to take care of her.  She just let it happen.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to remember.”  She recited, a tear running down her cheek as the memories forced themselves on her again, “Please, Jemma.  Please.”  Her voice broke as she spoke, fresh tears falling.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jemma didn’t say anything, because what was she supposed to say?  She just kissed her head, closing her own eyes as she did so, Daisy’s sobs heart wrenching, her hopelessness, her weakness terrifying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got you.”  She whispered as she crouched down next to her, tilting Daisy’s chin up so she’d look at her, “I’m here, Daisy.”  She promised.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Make it stop.”  Daisy pleaded, “Jemma, please.”  She took her hand, “Make it stop.” She begged.  Jemma shook her head,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to be okay, sweetheart, yeah?  Just be brave for us, okay.  Can you do that?”  Daisy nodded, sniffling as she breathed shakily.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could do <em>anything</em> for them.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s my girl.”  Jemma beamed, watching as Bobbi sat next to Daisy, kissing her cheek quickly.  She started wrapping her arms up again, butterfly strips holding her skin together under the bandage.  Jemma worked slowly, carefully, as though if she did anything to rough Daisy just might break in two.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”  Daisy muttered as she leaned against Bobbi, closing her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wanna tell us about it?”  Bobbi asked.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not yet.” Daisy furrowed her brow.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay, darling.  How about we get you cleaned up?”  Jemma offered.   Daisy nodded numbly, but made no effort to move.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, can I take your shirt off?”  Bobbi asked.  Daisy nodded, but still didn’t say anything.  Bobbi looked at Jemma, who shook her head. “Verbal consent, milaya.”  Bobbi asked softly.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”  Daisy nodded, “Wash my hair?”  She asked.  Bobbi nodded,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”  Bobbi smiled, “I’ll get your hair brush.”  Daisy nodded, looking at Jemma, who was standing up, offering her a hand.  Daisy took it, kissing Jemma quickly,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”  Jemma smiled as she pulled Daisy’s shirt over her head, letting her get her own shorts and underwear.  Bobbi returned wearing a bathrobe and holding a hairbrush, grabbing a washcloth for Daisy as she joined the others in the bath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re sure this is okay?”  Bobbi asked as she got behind her, turning the showerhead on low pressure to wet her hair.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“More than.”  Daisy sighed as Bobbi massaged the shampoo into her scalp, Jemma just sitting back against the other end, holding Daisy’s hand and drawing little patterns into her skin.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was home.  They were home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Close your eyes for me, lyubimyy.”  Bobbi asked as she rinsed her hair.  Daisy hummed slightly, not wanting to let herself slip away from this moment, from them, their warmth, their comfort.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Je suis ici.”</span>
  <em>
    <span> (I’m here)</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Jemma assured her, “Nous sommes ici.” </span>
  <em>
    <span> (We’re here)</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Je ne voudrais pas me souvenir.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>(I don’t want to remember) </span>
  </em>
  <span> Daisy repeated to herself, almost like a mantra, squeezing Jemma’s hand.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tu devras, mon amour.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>(You’ll have to, my love) </span>
  </em>
  <span> Jemma reminded her, “Tu ne peux pas l’ignorer.”  </span>
  <em>
    <span>(You can’t ignore it) </span>
  </em>
  <span> Daisy shook her head,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It hurts.”  She repeated.  Bobbi tutted, brushing conditioner through her hair, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, hon.   I know.” She kissed her forehead, wanting to wrap her up and carry her far, far away from this, from her hurt, her pain, her damage.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He hurt me.   Over, and over, and over.”  She sounded so </span>
  <em>
    <span>small</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so unlike herself, so far away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s dead.”  Bobbi said, “You’re safe.” Daisy shook her head,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s in my head.  He won’t get out.”  She whimpered.   What if he was always there?  What if she never escaped him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Daisy, listen to me,”  Bobbi asked, stopping her steady movements with the brush.  Daisy leaned back against her so Bobbi let her lay in her arms, “You remember how I was after Ward, yeah?” She asked.  Daisy nodded, “I thought I’d never stop remembering.  But I did.  I got better, because of you, and you, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>time</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  You have all of those things, so please, be </span>
  <em>
    <span>patient</span>
  </em>
  <span> with yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to.  I just want it to stop.”  She let a tear roll down her cheek, smiling as Jemma wiped it away,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re with you.  Every step of the way.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”  Bobbi agreed, kissing her shoulder, “You’re our girl.  Always.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Always.”  Jemma echoed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Always.”  Daisy agreed weakly.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“He started off easy.”  Daisy said out of the blue.  Jemma looked up from her tablet, Bobbi paused her braiding.   Daisy was cross legged on their bed, Bobbi behind her, Jemma’s head in her lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daisy-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The first day, I mean.  They gave me food, water, let me shower.  Then, I refused to talk.   Obviously they weren’t fans of that.”  She said dryly.  “I don’t know what the hell they gave me, but it made me sick.  Made my powers go haywire til I wrecked my arms.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Norepinephrine and benzodiazepines, I think.”  Jemma told her.  Daisy pulled a face, “They knock you out and make you hyperactive at the same time.”  She told her, “Would’ve made you lose control, and the nausea would’ve been your nervous system being confused at the mixed messages.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Bill Nye.” Daisy said, “But yeah, after that I couldn’t use my powers.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did they do to you, rockstar?”  Bobbi asked.  Daisy inhaled sharply,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Started off with beatings.   Like, just 6 Hydra guys and me, helpless on the floor.”  Her bottom lip quivered dangerously, “After that didn’t work I started getting more special attention from <em>him.</em>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whitehall.”  Bobbi spat the name like acid, the taste bitter on her tongue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He wasn’t shy.”  Daisy swallowed her tears, “He didn’t rape me.  Not really.   Just groped me whilst he tortured me.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, is that all?”  Bobbi asked dryly.  Daisy rolled her eyes, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It could’ve been worse.”  She shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It shouldn’t have happened.  None of it.  I’m sorry, Daisy.”  Jemma said sincerely, kissing her hand softly before intertwining their fingers.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everytime I remember, it just comes crashing back down.  All of it, and more, all over again.”  She sniffled, “I don’t know if I can do this.”  She admitted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll never have to do it alone.  Ever.”  Bobbi swore as she fastened the braid at the bottom, wrapping her arms around Daisy’s waist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”  She let a tear fall.  And couldn’t seem to stop the rest, “Sorry that I’m not good anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daisy, you are perfect.  No matter what he did, what he said, you are perfect, and beautiful, and intelligent.”  Bobbi tucked a finger under her chin, turning her head so she could look her in the eye, “You are more than what he made you.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s when she broke.  That’s when it hit her, when silent tears turned into suffocated sobs, when she remembered, and Bobbi was holding her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jemma sat up so Daisy could fold herself into Bobbi’s chest, ugly sobs filling the room as Bobbi rocked her, stroking her hair,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shhh, Dee, I got you, you’re okay.” Bobbi whispered, kissing her head as she held her close, smiling as Jemma moved so Daisy could see her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you still want me?”  Daisy asked hoarsely.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We love you.   No matter what, Daisy, okay?”  Daisy nodded into Bobbi’s chest, reaching for Jemma.  She hugged her close, holding her tightly, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you.”  She said through her tears, “So much, Jemma.  And I’m sorry.  For the cuts.”   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.  You’ll try again tomorrow.” Jemma rubbed her back, feeling her shoulder grow wet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell us next time, dorogaya. I don’t know how big SHIELD’s door budget is.” Bobbi joked.  Daisy groaned,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Coulson’s gonna be pissed.”  Jemma scoffed,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I’m sure in this situation his greatest concern will be the door.”  Jemma said sarcastically.  “The cutting can’t continue, Daisy, you know that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” She smiled wetly, “Sorry.”  She said slightly sheepishly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” Bobbi kissed her, drying her face with her sleeve, “You’ll try again tomorrow.” Bobbi echoed.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please, stop</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daisy, love, wake up.”  Jemma yawned,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stop it, stop it, please</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, Dee,”  Bobbi shook her shoulder, flopping back against the headboard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please, leave me alone, please</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, what did they do to you?”  Jemma muttered as Daisy pleaded with invisible assailants, the room rocking slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Help, Bobbi, please, help</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here, Daisy, please, wake up.”  Bobbi brushed her hair back, jerking back as Daisy bolted upright, gasping for breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Count with us, dorogaya.”  Bobbi reminded her, starting off slowly with Jemma at one, waiting until Daisy said it to continue.  They got to 50 by the time Daisy stopped, flopping back against the headboard, making grabby hands at Jemma.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope, you’re coming with me.”  Jemma decided, getting out of bed and pulling her dressing gown on, “The both of you.” She nodded to Bobbi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jem, it’s 4am.”  Bobbi said dryly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So we better hurry.”  Jemma chucked them both hoodies, picking up three blankets, “Come on.”  She gestured to her girlfriends impatiently, taking Daisy’s hand and all but dragging her out of bed, “Places to be.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She led them through the base, the grumpy night shift agents not acknowledging them.  Jemma made them all teas on the way, Bobbi and Daisy stopping to complain about the hour, flopping onto sofas and whining as Jemma made them keep going, although getting slightly curious as she led them up to the roof.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what you can see.”  Jemma asked as she sat on the ledge, blanket wrapped around her shoulders, tea held in both hands.  Bobbi joined her on one side, Daisy on the other, both of them rubbing their eyes.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The sky.”  Daisy said as she looked up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The stars.”  Jemma corrected. “Millions of them.”  She smiled.  Bobbi shook her head,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nerd.”  She quipped, but her voice was thick with emotion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Barbara, but there is a story behind every single one of these stars.”  Jemma tilted her head as she marvelled at them, “Dating back to Ancient Greece, people have given stars stories, after people they’ve lost, or loved; after gods they’ve worshipped, after stories, or legends.”  She listed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Missing the point here, Gemini.” Daisy smirked.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In reality, stars are born from chaos.  They are born after they collapse.”  Jemma nudged her, “People made stories out of that which was born from interstellar gas compressing and exploding to make something beautiful.  Something brand new.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, when everything is chaos, it’s because something new is about to begin?  A story?” Bobbi pieced together.  Jemma nodded,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And it’s true, isn’t it?  Daisy, you went through Terrigenesis and everything </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally</span>
  </em>
  <span> collapsed around you.  You came out as something new.  Bobbi, when Ward took you, your world fell apart, but you built yourself up again into more than what he made you.  On Maveth my world was taken from me, I was surrounded by unfamiliar stars, and I made stories for myself.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And so what’s your hypothesis, Doctor Simmons?”  Daisy asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That as things collapse around us, or we collapse, we are forced to believe that something new, and extraordinarily beautiful will take its place.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading!  feedbacks is always welcome!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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